joy?

So, I've been niggled lately by the thought of joy. And committing to it.

The question asked recently was, "What do you want more of in your life?" I responded, "More joy!" I became aware of how joy-less many people are, including me. It's easy to get sucked into the swirling eddy of discontent, dissatisfaction, and worry.

I don't necessarily think joy comes easily. At least not to a dysthymic person like myself. Like anything else, it is mastered only by practice, choice, and commitment. Did I learn to play the piano without hours of dedicated practice? Did I learn to speak French by waking up one morning and thinking, "I will speak fluent French from now on"? Heck no.

This morning, I decided to embrace joy. Could have been that child-like feeling of a special day because of the snow. (Am I ever going to outgrow that?)

I wasn't going to settle for less. I might have gone a little overboard, as I energetically approached the R&D team to warn them that they would be asked to cut their already slashed budget by $150,000. The commitment to joy produced energy that got me through that tough conversation, a difficult project, and yet another set of changes to our financial forecast.

The commitment to joy also created a deep sense of gratitude for the students I teach. As I came to class after work, I was happy to see them (even though some looked sleepy and bored). I courageously approached Terence, normally one of my best students, to express concern about his exam results (poor)--was there anything I can do?

Energy. Gratitude. Courage. Unexpected benefits from choosing joy.

It's the end of the day--a good day, a satisfying day.

Tomorrow I will need to practice joy again, I'm sure. Only practice makes permanent.

I want more joy. It's not too late.