who's.on.first.

So, who's on first in my life?

I'm thinking it's still so much about me - and not as much about Christ.

Pondering what would happen if I just stopped.

Stopped mentioning the things I do or have done. (Things like, "Yes, I teach accounting," or "I like to run half-marathons" or "I play piano at church" or "I have my MBA from [a top 10 school]").

Am I trying to connect or trying to impress?

What would happen if I just stopped?

Stopped mentioning. Stopped doing.

Would that get Jesus to first place?

Changes have rocked me lately, changes that feel like I'm being pushed aside, like I don't matter. It all ties into my sense of disconnection and that my relationships are non-existent to superficial. I feel simultaneously needed (because people want a good listener) and not (because who looks me in the eye and asks how I'm doing and actually wants to know?)

And the paradox is, despite my desire for connection, the feelings of being pushed aside make me want to pull away. And the dark fear comes that I will not be missed.

And the hope is -  if I do this, if I stop - I will find that Christ is all, Christ is enough.