truth

Sometimes husbands say things that are painful.

And sometimes they are right.

It happened to me this week. It was a somewhat dreadful week, full of self-doubt and self-criticism. As usual, I've taken on too much and I'm flat-out tired, leaving me especially susceptible to--let's call them "unhelpful"--thought patterns. It goes something like this--my students fail an exam, therefore I am not only a bad teacher, I am the worst teacher ever. The other Girls on the Run team lines up quietly and neatly at the door, waiting to go outside. My team boomerangs off the walls. Therefore, I should not be a GOTR coach. You get the picture.

I know that these things aren't true. In my rational moments, I know that my students simply didn't study. Like me, they have busy lives, and school might not be their number one priority.

So when I came home late, began talking to my husband, and he said, "I think that you are a self-promoter", it seemed quite unfair. Drawing more out of him, I think I finally understood that he was trying to tell me that I don't need to prove myself--and I certainly don't need to use words to try to prove myself.

I really disliked what he said, and frankly, I disagreed.

Because I respect him--and because he pointed this out in a non-accusatory way, I decided to observe myself in conversations--did I feel a need to point out an accomplishment, and if so, why? I also examined my motives--why do I teach, volunteer at Dale Carnegie, coach GOTR, run half-marathons?

I had to admit there are some things I do to prove myself.

The dual whammy came this morning.

Galatians 3:3, "After starting your Christian lives in the Spirit, why are you now trying to become perfect by your own human effort?"

And the sermon text--Philippians 3:7-8. After listing his impressive credentials, the apostle Paul writes, "I once thought these things were valuable, but now I consider them worthless because of what Christ has done. Yes, everything else is worthless when compared with the infinite value of knowing Christ Jesus my Lord."

Ah, credentials are fine--but not when they are the source of my worth. Accomplishments are acceptable--but mustn't be the goal.

As the words of the Song of Hope say, "Just to know You and be loved is enough."

To know Christ.

To know.

Christ.

Only Christ.