talk

"When we look at ourselves or others, we usually begin by saying what is good, add a 'but,' and then go on to name what is not so good. For example, my friend Sally is a very caring person, but she is so disorganized... What you will remember about this friend... is what you heard last--Sally is so disorganized... We tend to end with the hard truth. But God... sees with soft eyes that end in blessing. For example, Sally isn't very organized, but she is such a caring person... When we end with blessing, it changes how we see ourselves and others." ~ Helen Cepero, Journaling as a Spiritual Discipline

This is an everyday challenge. How am I speaking to (and about) myself--and how am I speaking about others? Today, I knocked over my bottle of water in the coffee shop--instinctively I think, "I'm clumsy!" I respond to an e-mail from my boss--and then find an unread e-mail from her boss to me--and send a second reply to my boss beginning with, "I feel really dumb... just ignore my message."

How often do these "buts" cause me to dismiss what someone is telling me? I know for sure I've done it with my husband, who has a tendency to enthuse about something new but doesn't always stick with it. I take a wait-and-see attitude when I could be affirming his interest, no matter if it's short-lived or not.

I know that the "buts" take front and center in my attitude toward a person at work. This person has tremendous strengths and complements me in areas where I fall short. The very strength, though, becomes a "but" because at times I feel that it comes at the expense of people, specifically me!

I'd like to stop each time I say "but" about myself or someone else--and replace it with blessing.