be kind

Some days, you just have to be kind to yourself. Today is one of those days.

I found myself wrapped in a web of grief, the kind that makes decisions difficult, leaves you wandering the house in your pajamas, and wanting to snap at the store clerk who says, "Have a good one!"

It's risky business letting yourself into the painful experience someone else is having. I remember sitting across from the doctor yesterday as he explained "the procedure" to my brother and me. This procedure removed the "tissue" and the placenta from my sister-in-law. I woke up this morning wishing that I had said, "Please! It's a baby! Stop being so abstract about this!"

So today, being kind to myself means setting aside the agenda I had. No studying. Not even as much piano practice as I should have done. Instead, I painted the new plasterwork in the front hallway. The sweep of the roller... the soothing color of the paint... the rhythm of physical activity calmed my mind.

I wouldn't have missed a moment of yesterday, though. That's what love is - being there during the hard times.

Even when it hurts.