The starting line

As we headed out of the stadium toward the 5k starting line, Naomi took my hand. Not usually one for clinging, she held tight even though the massive, shifting crowd seemed determined to separate us.

I remember the feel of her small hand gripping mine firmly. It said, "I'm scared and nervous, but I trust you. I'm safe with you." I held firmly also, wanting to send strength, courage and presence to her. Two-way, unspoken communication. We are together, and you are safe with me as you take each step toward the start of your big, new experience.

I'm at the starting line of a new job. Tomorrow I will take a different freeway exit and park in a new lot and walk into a new set of people and a big, new experience. Like Naomi, I'm feeling nervous as I don't know the route for the race or what will happen along the way. Now I am the small child taking God's hand. He has the course map and asks me to take one step, then another, having faith that he will bring me safely through. He will not let go.

Dt 2: 7 The LORD your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast desert. These forty years the LORD your God has been with you, and you have not lacked anything.

It came to pass

This is how it came to pass that I will start a new job on Monday.

The first week of April, two companies contacted me about open positions. I'd been with my current company for seven years and was not actively looking for something new. However, when people call me, it is time to pay attention.

The first interview went well. I really liked the person I'd be working for and what he'd been able to accomplish. But... was I ready to leave? Did I want to leave? But - there was opportunity to concentrate in my area of expertise, with possible advancement to a controller role in a few years. Tempting.

I needed more information. So, the logical next step was an on-site interview. Wow, I really liked the people! Practical, no-nonsense, hard-working. I especially liked the vision - because not only did it state the vision, it gave examples of what it looks like as people live it out. And then there were the daffodils.

Daffodils happen to be my favorite springtime flower. Technically, it's not just daffodils - but narcissus and jonquils as well. I have 200+ planted in my small front garden, creating a blazing, sunny statement in early spring. They're just - happy. Anyway, I noticed a beautiful bouquet of daffodils on someone's desk. And as I was introduced to many people in the organization, I noticed that each woman had a full bouquet of said flowers. When I inquired, I found that one of the women brought a bouquet for every woman that day, cut from her neighbor's garden. How cool was that?

The next step was to meet the VP. Again - practical, no-nonsense. I liked what I heard.

And then - the offer. Quite a bit better than the initial discussion. Very nice increase versus my current salary and bonus. Equivalent time off. Same benefits.

What to do? Take the leap? Not as easy a decision as it would appear, as I held a good position at a solid company and liked the people I worked with. Seven years' investment in building trust and credibility. And - the 'c' word - change. It's extraordinarily difficult for me.

The people who know me best and love me most were 100% on board with me taking the new position because they know my career goals and, like me, saw many positive indicators.

So it came to pass that yesterday was my last day... a day of tearful good-byes and well-wishes and stay-in-touches. I am blessed by seeing that I have made a difference, and that I have an "essence" or "energy" that will never be replaced. The work will get done, there will be a new influence - but nothing can take away the effect that I have had.

And nothing can stop the effect that I will have when I join my next employer on Monday. Dt. 2:7.

believe Him and all will be well

Unusual morning, twice finding myself brimming with tears.

Both caught me totally unaware.

I sat at the piano in the small Presbyterian church in Schoolcraft as the guest pastor opened the service. Her words were simple - "... for the next hour or so, let the world turn without you. Rest here with God."

The tears say to me that I'm exhausted, longing for rest. Masked by busyness, much of it activities that I love, the fatigue builds until a simple invitation reveals it. I am reminded of Jesus' words to Martha "Ah, Martha - you are worried about many things, but Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her."

Certainly the world will turn without me. Yes.

Later in the morning, I returned to my church to see our guest worship leader. Undistracted on a bare stage, he stood alone - a man with his guitar, his voice, and his God. He wove choruses and hymns in a steady ebb and flow, and I was fine, really I was, until these words appeared:

Believe Him and all will be well.

These tears unmask a deeper longing, the desire for a person and a place of safety in this ever-changing, sometimes painful world. It is the thirst for hope, and for knowing that no matter what this world throws at me, all will be well. That sort of longing can only be filled by God, in the person of Jesus.

I'm always analyzing, always trying to make sense of things and have it all fit together.

But for now, I have to admit I don't have this sorted out.

I'm going to let the world turn without me for awhile. I think God's got it handled. I believe God's got it handled.


All will be well.

knit

My knitting addiction surged again in November after a period of dormancy. (The hiatus was definitely driven by the need to finish the plain squares for my stepson's wedding afghan. I find no joy in knitting 12 x 12-in stockinette squares with a garter stitch border).

It's a wild ride. Each evening I spend 30 to 150 minutes sitting on the chair-and-a-half working on my latest project. Obsessed, I miss my bedtime and wake each morning sleep-deprived.


It's a stress reliever. After a day in a work environment with frequent reorganization, change, and near-constant deadline pressure, the rhythm of knitting, focus on pattern, and emerging results growing on the needles soothes me.


It's a spiritual reminder. The Bible tells me that God knit me together in the womb, and knew the days He would establish for my life. So each stitch joined to the previous one, each new pattern, each added row - all are metaphors representing life. And sometimes as I knit, I remember gratefully that God is knitting together a little baby I call Adele... After two babies that God holds in His arms, my sister-in-law is again pregnant.


Someday - only God knows when - He will finish the knitting project called Susan, binding me off into a beautiful garment for His eternal pleasure.

birth day

Today, I am sharing a poem that my mom wrote.. It seems appropriate to reflect on birth - the birth of Christ, and the expected birth of a new niece or nephew next July. Especially since receiving good news today of a favorable ultrasound and hearing the baby's heartbeat. Oh, little one - I pray for you each day!

Birth Day by Anne Zimmerman

I am the light of the world.
John 8:12

Fifty years ago,
wondering how to emphasize
the true meaning of Christmas,
I happened to read about
a Baby Jesus Birthday Cake...
So every Christmas, beginning then,
one has been the focus of
our family's Christmas dessert.

Our cake of choice is always the same;
a small (baby size) chocolate layer cake,
chocolate frosted, simple and plain,
just as the stable was simple and plain;
round, as the world is round.

We decorate the top of the cake with
lots of small white birthday candles
to represent the starry sky
the night the Baby was born;
and with a larger white candle in the center,
to represent Christ, the Christmas Star
and the Light of the World.

Christmas Day, at dessert time,
the dinner table cleared, the lights dimmed;
the candle-lit Baby Jesus Birthday Cake
is carried to the table,
while we all join in singing
"Happy birthday to you,
happy birthday to you.
Happy birthday, Baby Jesus,
happy birthday to you."

...Thank you, God
for the gift of your Son...
Baby Jesus.
Hallelujah.

NewEveryMorning.com

I notice that life has not slowed down one bit since my last post in September. Time to evaluate and prioritize, always a good end-of-year activity.

This morning, I read Lamentations 3:22-23,

Because of the Lord's great love, we are not consumed
For His compassions never fail;
They are new every morning...

I stared at those three words for awhile.

New every morning.
New every morning.
New every morning.

Wouldn't it be amazing to live like I believe it? It's not just when I'm in crisis. It's not just when I am living up to my so-called standards. It's not just when I am living up to God's standards.

God's compassions are a gift, as fresh and new every morning as the snow that laced the trees this morning when I woke up.

Wouldn't it be refreshing to go to a website, www.neweverymorning.com, and revel in the good news of God's love and mercy crowning us? (I actually came downstairs and looked on the computer to see if the domain was available - nope, someone has snagged it already, though it is not in use. Pity.)

New. A fresh start!

Every. Without a doubt; past, present, future!

Morning. Daily!

rain

Sometimes I'm in that dry and thirsty place where I just need. We're running a marathon at work right now, a marathon of projections and budgets and auditors and an acquisition and inventory questions and now more auditors and ~ I keep thinking that we will take a breath and slow down and think and it doesn't come and I am so thirsty and I need.

The Bible says, "Selah." Pause. Think.

Selah.

I'm so grateful for the co-workers who ask me how I am. And mean it. And I'm thankful for the one who saw that I needed and wrote a funny note of encouragement on my board. Sometimes it's hard to admit that I need. I'm supposed to be strong and experienced and a can-do person. (Actually, I am strong and experienced and a can-do person!) I can be all those things and still need. It's okay to need. I'm reading a book by Leslie Parrott titled The First Drop of Rain. I've been fascinated by part of a poem that she wrote:

...Never forget,
Your heart is a spring.
Living waters flow in you.
And just the grace of your presence
Brings life all around you.
Never feel small.
Someone has to be
The first drop of rain.

This morning, on my way to church, the fog blanketed the earth and saturated it with moisture. I read recently about how such a very small amount of water can create a large amount of fog.

So what is my point? I'm not sure!

Maybe it's this... That when I need, I will remember that God's living water is a spring of life in me. I will look for the first drop of rain that a caring co-worker offers by asking how I am. And that out of need, I am still able to give... By listening to my daughter-in-law when she is hurting. By bringing a vase of dahlias~astonishing and glorious~to a stressed co-worker to remind her that there is beauty. This is not all there is to life.

God, may the grace of my presence, of Your presence in me, bring life all around me. Make me the first drop of rain.