Contemplative Prayer...

[from a talk I gave...]

Important question: Does my schedule, my time, my life look like that of a person who wants to hear from God?

Last summer—answer “NO”. Work in Finance at [my employer]—that’s almost the double whammy. Definition of being an accountant—long hours! Definition of [my employer]—long hours! Involved in music ministry. Keeping up with family and friends. Finding time to exercise. And let’s not forget—knitting, reading, gardening, occasional golf. Oh—did I mention daily devotions?

My life looked anything BUT like that of someone who wants to hear from God. I’d promised myself during recovery from surgery in late 2004 that I wasn’t going to get back on the busy bandwagon. But here I was—busy, overwhelmed, and letting my schedule control me. DOING instead of BEING.

Verse: “One thing I ask of the Lord, this is what I seek: that I may dwell in the house of the Lord all the days of my life, to gaze upon the beauty of the Lord and to seek Him in His temple. (Psalm 27:4)

This verse touched me deeply, but was far from reality.

WHAT ARE SOME REASONS WE MIGHT GIVE TO AVOID SPENDING TIME IN CONTEMPLATIVE PRAYER? (Too busy. Family responsibilities. Seems unproductive. Afraid. Don’t know how.)

One day I decided to set aside my excuses. I picked up the phone and called The Hermitage, a Mennonite retreat center, to schedule a day of contemplative prayer. Not exactly a baby step. This evening, I hope to inspire you to take one step toward the practice of contemplative prayer.

So what exactly does it mean to contemplate? Noah Webster defines it:
“To view or consider with continued attention; to study; to meditate on.”

Richard Foster writes this about contemplative prayer: “In its most basic and fundamental expression, Contemplative Prayer is a loving attentiveness to God. We are attending to Him who loves us, Who is near to us, and Who draws us to Himself.” Another writer says, “Contemplative prayer is opening our awareness to God Whom we know by faith is within us, closer than breathing, closer than thinking, closer than choosing—closer than consciousness itself.” The goal? Union with God.

Foster warns us that contemplative prayer isn’t for the novice. I’m glad I didn’t read up on it before I went to the Hermitage, or I would have thought twice. The reason, according to Foster, is that we are not all equally ready to hear what God might have to say. I have to admit that one of my concerns was—what would God say? Actually, my first concern was whether He’d say anything to me! But if God spoke—how would He speak? What would His tone of voice be?

Contemplative prayer, again quoting Foster, “immerses us into the silence of God.” I wasn’t sure how it was going to pan out, going away and not speaking for about 9 hours! I don’t know about you, but I’m used to talking, talking, talking during prayer. After all—isn’t prayer about talking to God? Clement of Alexandria wrote, “we are like old shoes, all worn out except the tongue.” Martin Hope Sutton wrote, “God was waiting in the depths of my being to talk to me if I would only get still enough to hear His voice.”

The Bible tells us, “Be still and know that I am God.”

Elijah heard God not in wind or fire, but in a still, small voice.

Habakkuk 2:20 says, “But the Lord is in His holy temple; let all the earth be silent before Him.”

In his book, Holy Silence, J. Brent Bill observes: “Silence moves us from difficult self-examination, to healing, to relaxing in God’s presence…The important thing to remember as we experience spiritual silence is that it doesn’t leave us in pain or turmoil.”

Steps in contemplative prayer:
Quakers use the term, “centering down.” First, relax. Let’s give this a try.

Close your eyes.
Breathe deeply from your abdomen.
Focus for a moment on your breathing.
Consciously relax your body. Where you feel tense, let go.

OK? Open your eyes.

Next, choose a sacred word or scripture to focus on. It should be a word that brings you peace. You will use this word to return your focus to the center when you are distracted. You will be distracted, it’s guaranteed! Here’s what Sutton had to say on this topic:

“Never before did there seem to be so many things to be done, to be said, to be thought; and in every direction I was pushed and pulled, and greeted with noisy acclamations of unspeakable unrest. It seemed necessary for me to listen to some of them and to answer some of them; but God said, ‘Be still, and know that I am God.’ Then came the conflict of thoughts for the morrow, and its duties and cares; but God said, ‘Be still.’”

Sometimes I use, “Lord Jesus Christ, have mercy on me” as my focus. The first day at the Hermitage, God led me to “Christ in you, the hope of glory”, from Colossians 1:27. Sue Monk Kidd envisioned Jesus drawing a big circle around her. His Presence was in the circle with her. She placed her concerns outside the circle.

As you begin to practice contemplative prayer, it might take your entire prayer time just to “center down”. Foster suggests that rather than feeling that we have wasted time, that we consider it a “lavish love offering to the Father. God will then take what looks like a foolish waste and use it to bring us further into His loving presence.”

The second step is the prayer of quiet, or waiting for God, or listening stillness. What is God saying? I’ve had different types of experiences with this.

God has used the labyrinth at the Hermitage as an object lesson. The labyrinth is not a maze—it is a clear path leading into the center, and then outward again. No trickery. The key for me is that it slows me down. I walk slowly, observantly, with an attitude of listening. When I sense that God is speaking—by placing a thought or a Scripture in my mind, I pause to reflect. There is no agenda, no hurry. It’s God and me, together. The labyrinth can help me focus through the action of walking.

As I have sat quietly before God, it has been a chance for unhurried conversation. I went on retreat with a question of who I was without my job, since work-life balance was mostly work and little balance, and I based a lot of my worth on career. God faithfully showed me who I am—wife, daughter, stepmother, friend—none of which are roles based on a job. “Lord, why is work such a focus for me then?” I asked. The reply—spoken lovingly yet truthfully—“It is an idol.” In His presence there was no condemnation, just plain truth spoken in love.

We take the first steps into contemplative prayer. The third step is dependent on God, not on us. It is the step called “spiritual ecstasy”. The Apostle Paul describes his experience in II Corinthians 12:1-5,

“You've forced me to talk this way, and I do it against my better judgment. But now that we're at it, I may as well bring up the matter of visions and revelations that God gave me. For instance, I know a man who, fourteen years ago, was seized by Christ and swept in ecstasy to the heights of heaven. I really don't know if this took place in the body or out of it; only God knows. I also know that this man was hijacked into paradise—again, whether in or out of the body, I don't know; God knows. There he heard the unspeakable spoken, but was forbidden to tell what he heard. This is the man I want to talk about. But about myself, I'm not saying another word apart from the humiliations.”

Theodore Brakel also experienced spiritual ecstasy and wrote:

“I was… transported into such a state of joy and my thoughts were so drawn upward that, seeing God with the eyes of my soul, I felt one with Him. I felt myself transported into God’s being and at the same time, I was so filled with joy, peace, and sweetness, that I cannot express it. With my spirit I was entirely in heaven for two or three days.”

“Better is one day in Your courts than a thousand elsewhere”, wrote the Psalmist. (Psalm 84:10).

God invites us to come to Him.

“Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.” (James 4:8)

“You will seek Me and find Me when you seek Me with all your heart.” (Jeremiah 29:13)

“If you seek Him, He will be found by you.” (I Chronicles 28:9)

Contemplative prayer deepens our intimacy with God.

“Come spend time with Me, and others will notice. ‘Here is one who is loved. She has nothing to prove. See how relaxed, how unpretentious. No tooting horn, waving banners, proclaimed accomplishments. She’s comfortable to be around. Love is written all over her face…Choose one thing: to come near.”

Will you give it a try? Will you love God, and let yourself be loved, through contemplative prayer?

The starting line

As we headed out of the stadium toward the 5k starting line, Naomi took my hand. Not usually one for clinging, she held tight even though the massive, shifting crowd seemed determined to separate us.

I remember the feel of her small hand gripping mine firmly. It said, "I'm scared and nervous, but I trust you. I'm safe with you." I held firmly also, wanting to send strength, courage and presence to her. Two-way, unspoken communication. We are together, and you are safe with me as you take each step toward the start of your big, new experience.

I'm at the starting line of a new job. Tomorrow I will take a different freeway exit and park in a new lot and walk into a new set of people and a big, new experience. Like Naomi, I'm feeling nervous as I don't know the route for the race or what will happen along the way. Now I am the small child taking God's hand. He has the course map and asks me to take one step, then another, having faith that he will bring me safely through. He will not let go.

Dt 2: 7 The LORD your God has blessed you in all the work of your hands. He has watched over your journey through this vast desert. These forty years the LORD your God has been with you, and you have not lacked anything.

It came to pass

This is how it came to pass that I will start a new job on Monday.

The first week of April, two companies contacted me about open positions. I'd been with my current company for seven years and was not actively looking for something new. However, when people call me, it is time to pay attention.

The first interview went well. I really liked the person I'd be working for and what he'd been able to accomplish. But... was I ready to leave? Did I want to leave? But - there was opportunity to concentrate in my area of expertise, with possible advancement to a controller role in a few years. Tempting.

I needed more information. So, the logical next step was an on-site interview. Wow, I really liked the people! Practical, no-nonsense, hard-working. I especially liked the vision - because not only did it state the vision, it gave examples of what it looks like as people live it out. And then there were the daffodils.

Daffodils happen to be my favorite springtime flower. Technically, it's not just daffodils - but narcissus and jonquils as well. I have 200+ planted in my small front garden, creating a blazing, sunny statement in early spring. They're just - happy. Anyway, I noticed a beautiful bouquet of daffodils on someone's desk. And as I was introduced to many people in the organization, I noticed that each woman had a full bouquet of said flowers. When I inquired, I found that one of the women brought a bouquet for every woman that day, cut from her neighbor's garden. How cool was that?

The next step was to meet the VP. Again - practical, no-nonsense. I liked what I heard.

And then - the offer. Quite a bit better than the initial discussion. Very nice increase versus my current salary and bonus. Equivalent time off. Same benefits.

What to do? Take the leap? Not as easy a decision as it would appear, as I held a good position at a solid company and liked the people I worked with. Seven years' investment in building trust and credibility. And - the 'c' word - change. It's extraordinarily difficult for me.

The people who know me best and love me most were 100% on board with me taking the new position because they know my career goals and, like me, saw many positive indicators.

So it came to pass that yesterday was my last day... a day of tearful good-byes and well-wishes and stay-in-touches. I am blessed by seeing that I have made a difference, and that I have an "essence" or "energy" that will never be replaced. The work will get done, there will be a new influence - but nothing can take away the effect that I have had.

And nothing can stop the effect that I will have when I join my next employer on Monday. Dt. 2:7.

believe Him and all will be well

Unusual morning, twice finding myself brimming with tears.

Both caught me totally unaware.

I sat at the piano in the small Presbyterian church in Schoolcraft as the guest pastor opened the service. Her words were simple - "... for the next hour or so, let the world turn without you. Rest here with God."

The tears say to me that I'm exhausted, longing for rest. Masked by busyness, much of it activities that I love, the fatigue builds until a simple invitation reveals it. I am reminded of Jesus' words to Martha "Ah, Martha - you are worried about many things, but Mary has chosen what is better and it will not be taken from her."

Certainly the world will turn without me. Yes.

Later in the morning, I returned to my church to see our guest worship leader. Undistracted on a bare stage, he stood alone - a man with his guitar, his voice, and his God. He wove choruses and hymns in a steady ebb and flow, and I was fine, really I was, until these words appeared:

Believe Him and all will be well.

These tears unmask a deeper longing, the desire for a person and a place of safety in this ever-changing, sometimes painful world. It is the thirst for hope, and for knowing that no matter what this world throws at me, all will be well. That sort of longing can only be filled by God, in the person of Jesus.

I'm always analyzing, always trying to make sense of things and have it all fit together.

But for now, I have to admit I don't have this sorted out.

I'm going to let the world turn without me for awhile. I think God's got it handled. I believe God's got it handled.


All will be well.

knit

My knitting addiction surged again in November after a period of dormancy. (The hiatus was definitely driven by the need to finish the plain squares for my stepson's wedding afghan. I find no joy in knitting 12 x 12-in stockinette squares with a garter stitch border).

It's a wild ride. Each evening I spend 30 to 150 minutes sitting on the chair-and-a-half working on my latest project. Obsessed, I miss my bedtime and wake each morning sleep-deprived.


It's a stress reliever. After a day in a work environment with frequent reorganization, change, and near-constant deadline pressure, the rhythm of knitting, focus on pattern, and emerging results growing on the needles soothes me.


It's a spiritual reminder. The Bible tells me that God knit me together in the womb, and knew the days He would establish for my life. So each stitch joined to the previous one, each new pattern, each added row - all are metaphors representing life. And sometimes as I knit, I remember gratefully that God is knitting together a little baby I call Adele... After two babies that God holds in His arms, my sister-in-law is again pregnant.


Someday - only God knows when - He will finish the knitting project called Susan, binding me off into a beautiful garment for His eternal pleasure.